LOVE 4 EVER

Who has been in love before? Who has not been in love before? Who does not believe in love?

Love is sweet. And I love to be loved. When I’m in love, I will wake up without procrastinating and each day is filled with joy. Everything I see seems so lovely, even my boss seems so funny and cute. Being a macho man, I used to hate romantic dramas and comedies. Now watching them make me go Awww… like a little kitten.
Now about my ex girlfriend, who is now my wife. Sharon is the most beautiful person I have ever met. We met during my medical treatment at the hospital and she was the nurse attending to me. When she poked the needle into my arm, it was so PAINFUL. But it’s ok, as long I can get to see her. One day, our mutual friend who was her colleague asked me out for karaoke session. I knew she was going and I immediately jumped at the opportunity to impress her! I used up all the gel for my hair, put on my best clothes, and sprayed my perfume which I didn’t used for months. Hopefully, my voice did not scare her away…

I’m going to share 4 lessons I have learnt on my journey of courtship to marriage. This only applies to the single men here. The 4 lessons is in the word, “GIRL”.

G - Guts

In 2008, we got closer together. I was taking a very difficult exam and I pulled my hair every day. I needed support and she was there. I was studying at cafes and she will just quietly read her storybooks, giving me her silent support. I was touched and my torch for her grew brighter and brighter. But I had fear, the fear of being rejected. I had no guts to tell her my feelings. Soon, she was going to China for holidays. So one night, at Macdonalds, I mustered all the courage I had in my guts and I wrote on a serviette, “I’m going to miss you when you go to China,” My heart was thumping furiously as I waited for her response.

She looked at me, smiled and nodded her head. “What was that supposed to mean? Does it mean she accepts me?” I asked myself. Being an overly positive person, I assumed that her silence meant yes! So on our next date, I bought her flowers. But to my horror, she rejected me and said she only treats me like a good friend. I was devastated. But I did not give up. I applied the second principle called Interest.

I - Interest

This interest is not the bank interest. This interest is the deep interest I had in Sharon. She went to China for holidays and I called her everyday, taking an deep interest in her life. I must have been like a pest, but I did not care. I was fighting for my life happiness. I believed she felt my sincerity, or irritation at that time.

She came back on the day of my exam, just in time to give me the encouragement I need. At that time, my health had some problems and was in and out of hospital. In the darkest period of my life, she came to the hospital to visit me, gave me encouragement and was by my side. After an operation one day, I finally took courage to hold her hand and she did not draw back! I was elated and knew I had won her heart.

Subsequently, I had to undergo a major operation and it was successful. I eventually recovered and wasted no time to propose to her. I sang her favorite song and knelt before her, presenting her ring. She cried and accepted my proposal!

R - Relax and have fun!

In a blink of an eye, we were doing the wedding preparations. Even though it was stressful at times, we made a point to relax and have fun. The procedure of finding a flat, looking for bargains, finding a restaurant, tasting the food, sitting at the studio of the whole day while the my bride tries on her gown, preparing the guest lists, memorizing the speech, being teased by the ‘sisters’ on the wedding day, etc. Looking back, it was indeed a fun time and I will not exchange those times for anything else.

L - Love unconditionally

Now that we are married, I realized that the wedding is only for a day, but the marriage is for a lifetime. Being 2 different persons, we really had to understand each other, resolve conflicts, forgive each other and love unconditionally. It brings to mind a story:

A man fell into a deep sleep and an angel brought him for an excursion to heaven and hell. First they went to hell, and saw that the people there were all very thin and weak. They were trying to feed themselves with a very long spoon, and could get the food into their mouths. Next they went up to heaven, and he saw that the people in heaven were very well fed. So he thought that they must have had normal spoons. But to his astonishment, they too had very long spoons. The difference is that the people in heaven were feeding each other rather than themselves.

This story encourages me to always fill up the love bank in my wife, and put her interests before my own. I find that this way, she will have always enough love to share with me, and I will be fulfilled also. To me, the final ‘L’ in the acronym is the most important ingredient to keep our relationship and marriage alive. As long as I love Sharon unconditionally, I will have the guts to take action, take a deep interest her life and our relationship will be relaxing and fun!

I wish all of you will find your Love 4 Ever!